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Clean Jokes

Alcoholic Joke How can they call it "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you do is you stand up and say, ‘My name is John and I am an alcoholic’? Funny Joke Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!" Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!" Peanuts Joke A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some. He asks her after a while why she isn’t having any herself. “Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.” “Why did you buy them at all then?” wonders the driver. “You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!” Shark Joke A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers properly. - “So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And then you go at them full blast and eat them.” “OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right away?” “I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all that shit in their intest...
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Something Funny

Shop Joke In a bakery: Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.” Shop assistant: “Cupcake?” Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.” Age Joke ● At 40 years, "highly educated" and "less educated" are the same. (Less educated people may even earn more money) ● At 50 years, "beauty" and "ugly" are the same. (No matter how pretty you are, at this age, wrinkles, dark spots, etc. can no more be hidden.) ● At 60 years, "high position" and "low position" are the same. (After retirement, even a peon will avoid looking at his boss) ● At 70 years, "big house" and "small house" are the same. (Joints degeneration, hard to move, only require a little space to sit .) ● At 80 years, "have money" and "no money" are the same. (Even when you want to spend money, you don't know where to spend) ● At 90 years, "Sleeping" and "waking u...
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Silly Jokes

Boss Joke Height Of Bad Luck. Your battery is at 2% and you see your Boss upload pictures of himself and his family. Wanting to impress him, you quickly comment "cool pics" but auto correct changes it to "cool pigs" and your battery runs out! Father Joke Little Johnny asks his father: "Where does the wind come from?" - "I don't know." - "Why do dogs bark?" - "I don't know." - "Why is the earth round?" - "I don't know." - "Does it disturb you that I ask so much?" - "No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn anything." Friends Joke Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp. The genie grants each of them one wish. The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted. The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted. The third guy says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted. C...
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